10 Conversation Starters That Actually Work (On Voice Dates and Beyond)
Skip the boring small talk. Discover 10 conversation starters that create genuine connection and chemistry on voice dates.
10 Conversation Starters That Actually Work (On Voice Dates and Beyond)
"So... how's your day been?"
If that's your go-to conversation starter, we need to talk.
Not because it's wrong—it's perfectly fine, actually—but because it's boring.
And on a 60-second voice date where first impressions happen fast, boring is the kiss of death.
The truth is, what you say in the first 10 seconds sets the tone for everything that follows.
A great conversation starter does three things:
- Shows genuine curiosity (not just filling silence)
- Invites storytelling (not yes/no answers)
- Reveals personality (yours and theirs)
Whether you're on a Veronata voice date, a phone call with a match, or meeting someone in person, these 10 conversation starters will help you skip the small talk and jump straight into real connection.
The Problem with Generic Openers
Before we get to the good stuff, let's talk about why most conversation starters fall flat:
"How are you?" → Automatic response: "Good, how are you?"
"What do you do?" → Feels like a job interview, not a date.
"Where are you from?" → Geographic trivia, not connection.
These questions aren't bad—they're just predictable.
The person you're talking to has answered them a thousand times. Their brain switches to autopilot, and genuine engagement disappears.
The solution? Ask questions that require thought and invite stories.
10 Conversation Starters That Actually Work
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"What's the best thing that happened to you this week?"
Why it works: It's positive, specific, and invites storytelling. Instead of "How was your day?" (which can be answered with "Fine"), this asks them to identify something good and share it.
What you'll learn: Their values (what they consider "best"), their recent experiences, and their storytelling style.
Follow-up: "That sounds amazing! What made it so great?"
Works especially well: At the beginning of a conversation to set a positive tone.
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"If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and what would you ask them?"
Why it works: It's playful, reveals their interests, and shows how they think. You'll learn if they choose family (sentimental), a historical figure (intellectual curiosity), or a celebrity (pop culture enthusiast).
What you'll learn: Their heroes, interests, and thought process.
Follow-up: "What do you think they'd say?" or "What about them fascinates you?"
Works especially well: When you want to go deeper than surface-level chat.
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"What's something you're excited about right now?"
Why it works: It focuses on the present and future, not the past. People love talking about things they're looking forward to—trips, projects, personal goals.
What you'll learn: Their passions, what motivates them, and whether they're optimistic or pessimistic.
Follow-up: "Tell me more about that!" or "What made you decide to do that?"
Works especially well: Any time, but especially good for first conversations.
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"What's the most interesting thing you've learned recently?"
Why it works: It assumes they're curious and learning (compliment), and it opens the door to any topic they find fascinating—podcasts, books, random Wikipedia rabbit holes.
What you'll learn: Their intellectual curiosity, what they consume, and how they explain complex ideas.
Follow-up: "I've never thought about that before. What got you interested in it?"
Works especially well: With intellectually curious people or when you want to avoid small talk.
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"If you had a free weekend with no plans, what's your ideal way to spend it?"
Why it works: It reveals their natural state—are they homebodies or adventurers? Social butterflies or introverts? This question uncovers compatibility around lifestyle.
What you'll learn: Their idea of rest and fun, social preferences, and energy levels.
Follow-up: "That sounds perfect. Do you get to do that often?"
Works especially well: When you're trying to gauge lifestyle compatibility.
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"What's a skill you've always wanted to learn but haven't yet?"
Why it works: It's aspirational (positive), reveals hidden interests, and gives insight into what they value. Plus, everyone has an answer.
What you'll learn: Their secret interests, self-perception, and whether they take action or just dream.
Follow-up: "What's stopping you?" or "I've always wanted to try that too!"
Works especially well: Mid-conversation when you need a fresh topic.
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"What's your unpopular opinion about [insert relevant topic]?"
Why it works: It's playful, invites debate (in a fun way), and reveals how they think independently. Just keep it light—stick to food, movies, music, not politics on a first date.
Examples:
- "What's your unpopular opinion about pizza?" (pineapple, Chicago vs. NY, etc.)
- "What's your unpopular opinion about dating apps?"
- "What's your unpopular opinion about coffee?"
What you'll learn: Their contrarian streak, sense of humor, and how they handle disagreement.
Follow-up: "I can't believe you just said that!" (playfully) or "Okay, defend that position."
Works especially well: When conversation needs energy or you want to be playful.
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"What's something most people don't know about you?"
Why it works: It invites vulnerability and depth without being heavy. You're giving them permission to share something unique or surprising.
What you'll learn: Hidden talents, unexpected experiences, or fun facts about them.
Follow-up: "That's so cool! How did you get into that?"
Works especially well: When you've established some rapport and want to go deeper.
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"If you could only eat one cuisine for the rest of your life, what would it be?"
Why it works: Food is universal, safe, and everyone has opinions. Plus, it naturally leads to talking about travel, culture, or planning a future date ("We should try that new Thai place!").
What you'll learn: Their tastes, travel experiences, and potential date ideas.
Follow-up: "What's your favorite dish?" or "Have you tried [related food thing]?"
Works especially well: Always, but especially if conversation has stalled.
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"What's the last thing that made you laugh out loud?"
Why it works: Laughter is magnetic. This question brings positive energy, reveals their sense of humor, and often leads to them telling a funny story.
What you'll learn: Their humor style, what they find funny, and whether they laugh easily.
Follow-up: "Tell me the story!" or share something that made you laugh recently.
Works especially well: At any time, but especially great when energy needs a boost.
How to Use These Conversation Starters
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Don't Memorize—Adapt
These aren't scripts. Pick 2-3 that feel natural to you and adapt them to your style.
The goal is genuine curiosity, not performance.
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Listen More Than You Talk
A great conversation starter only works if you actually listen to the answer. Don't just wait for your turn to talk—engage with what they say.
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Follow the Energy
If a question lands well, go deeper. If it falls flat, pivot gracefully: "Okay, different question—what about..."
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Share, Don't Interrogate
After they answer, share your own answer. Conversation is a dance, not an interview.
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Read the Room (Or the Call)
Some people love deep questions immediately. Others need to warm up. Pay attention to their energy and adjust accordingly.
Conversation Starters to Avoid (Especially on First Voice Dates)
❌ "Do you come here often?" (Doesn't apply to voice dates, and it's cliché anyway)
❌ "What's your biggest fear?" (Too heavy for a first conversation)
❌ Anything about exes (Save it for later, if ever)
❌ "What's your zodiac sign?" (Unless they bring it up first)
❌ Questions about money, religion, or politics (First date = not the time)
The Secret to Great Conversations
Here's the real secret: The best conversation starters aren't questions at all—they're observations.
Instead of asking a question, share something interesting:
- "I just watched this documentary about [topic]—it completely changed how I think about [thing]."
- "I had the weirdest/best/funniest experience today..."
- "I'm obsessed with [hobby/interest] right now. Have you ever tried it?"
When you lead with something interesting about yourself, you invite them to relate, share, or ask follow-up questions.
It's natural, authentic, and way less interview-y.
Putting It All Together
Great conversation isn't about having the perfect line. It's about:
✅ Being genuinely curious about the other person
✅ Asking open-ended questions that invite stories
✅ Listening actively and building on what they say
✅ Sharing about yourself to create mutual understanding
✅ Being comfortable with pauses (silence isn't failure)
The 10 conversation starters in this guide are tools, not scripts.
Use them when you need them, adapt them to your style, and most importantly—be present.
Because here's the thing: People remember how you made them feel, not what you said.
A "boring" question asked with genuine interest beats a "clever" question delivered on autopilot.
Ready to Practice?
The best way to get good at conversation is to have more conversations.
Veronata's 60-second Prime Time speed dates are perfect low-pressure practice: You meet new people, try different openers, and discover what works for your natural style.
Plus, when you connect through voice first, conversation flows more naturally than text ever could.
Join Prime Time and Start Conversations →
Looking for more voice dating tips? Read our guide on making a great first impression on voice dates or learn why voice-first dating works better than swiping.